We found out September 25th, 2017 that we were expecting twins. I went to the appointment alone while Jake was at work. After finding out there were two babies I frantically called Jake at work in a panic. The words that came out of my mouth were "There’s fucking twins in there!" All that was going through my head was how can I care for two newborns at once along with a toddler? How is my short stature going to hold a twin pregnancy? Will I be able to walk or get myself out of bed, let alone care for my daughter? I was in a panic and didn’t think I could handle this. Jake on the other hand was thrilled and he said "everything will be ok, we can do this."
It took a bit to wrap my head around being pregnant with twins. All our family and friends were beyond thrilled about the double addition to the family. I accepted the fact that it was going to be rough but Jake and I could make it work, we always do.
My doctor had briefly gone over a few things regarding twin pregnancy but most of all it was high risk and I'd be being seen more than a normal pregnancy. He also would have me see a high risk specialist for an ultrasound just to make sure all things were good. I never thought anything could be wrong, of course there was a possibility, but I just figured they were fraternal twins since my grandmother is a fraternal twin.
In the middle of November we had our high risk ultrasound. We were so excited to get a peek at these babies and find out the sex of them. The ultrasound tech started the ultrasound while we waited for doctor. For some reason my heart was racing and I was very nervous, she wasn’t saying much while taking pictures. I could see there were two heartbeats but one baby wasn’t as active as the other. Who am I to know what it’s supposed to look like though? I’m not specialized in ultrasonography. I just had this gut feeling that something was wrong.
When the doctor arrived, the technician stepped out to meet her and I just assumed she was maybe getting her up to speed on what other pictures where needed and that she was able to see the sex of one baby but not the other(I just thought that baby was being shy). She did let us know that Twin B was a boy and they shared a placenta so she was certain Twin A was a boy too but couldn’t verify it by picture. I knew them sharing a placenta was a greater risk but I just figured that was later when it came to delivery. The doctor stepped in and viewed a few pictures on the screen.
She asked "Did your doctor talk to you about twin to twin transfusion syndrome?"
I replied with "Yes, briefly."
Doctor continued on with "Your babies have twin to twin transfusion syndrome, if we don’t do anything they are both going to die." At that moment my heart sank down into my stomach and tears began streaming down my face. I can’t lose my babies is all that was running through my head. I couldn’t comprehend what was all happening in that moment. All I felt was lost and heartbroken. How can this possibly be happening? What did I do wrong? Is it all my fault? Those where just a few of the thing's running through my head.
It took a bit to wrap my head around being pregnant with twins. All our family and friends were beyond thrilled about the double addition to the family. I accepted the fact that it was going to be rough but Jake and I could make it work, we always do.
My doctor had briefly gone over a few things regarding twin pregnancy but most of all it was high risk and I'd be being seen more than a normal pregnancy. He also would have me see a high risk specialist for an ultrasound just to make sure all things were good. I never thought anything could be wrong, of course there was a possibility, but I just figured they were fraternal twins since my grandmother is a fraternal twin.
In the middle of November we had our high risk ultrasound. We were so excited to get a peek at these babies and find out the sex of them. The ultrasound tech started the ultrasound while we waited for doctor. For some reason my heart was racing and I was very nervous, she wasn’t saying much while taking pictures. I could see there were two heartbeats but one baby wasn’t as active as the other. Who am I to know what it’s supposed to look like though? I’m not specialized in ultrasonography. I just had this gut feeling that something was wrong.
When the doctor arrived, the technician stepped out to meet her and I just assumed she was maybe getting her up to speed on what other pictures where needed and that she was able to see the sex of one baby but not the other(I just thought that baby was being shy). She did let us know that Twin B was a boy and they shared a placenta so she was certain Twin A was a boy too but couldn’t verify it by picture. I knew them sharing a placenta was a greater risk but I just figured that was later when it came to delivery. The doctor stepped in and viewed a few pictures on the screen.
She asked "Did your doctor talk to you about twin to twin transfusion syndrome?"
I replied with "Yes, briefly."
Doctor continued on with "Your babies have twin to twin transfusion syndrome, if we don’t do anything they are both going to die." At that moment my heart sank down into my stomach and tears began streaming down my face. I can’t lose my babies is all that was running through my head. I couldn’t comprehend what was all happening in that moment. All I felt was lost and heartbroken. How can this possibly be happening? What did I do wrong? Is it all my fault? Those where just a few of the thing's running through my head.
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